RobbieWilliams.com

#1 21-08-09, 01:21 PM

My list of strange phobias just had to be posted here ...........

Crowded places.

Talking to strangers.

Bog-eyed people – not because I dislike bog-eyed people but because I feel uncomfortable not knowing which eye to focus on when in conversation. I flick to one and then the other, get confused as to which one is looking at me and want to get away as quick as possible. The same goes for people with one false eye. I get puzzled.

Contagious people.

Fish with heads at the fish mongers – they’re scary, and they look at me.

Those nasty pigs ears used as doggie treats. Aarghhh. My mum’s boyfriend thinks it’s funny when we’re out and about to pick one up and then shove it in my face for a laugh. I scream the place down every time.

Sprouts.

Basil Brush.

Porcelain dolls.

Hearing people I know say the same old boring repetitive stories time and time again, I try to avoid them if possible.

Men in sandals – bare footed or with socks pulled up high. Both as bad.

Men in winklepicker boots or boots with heels.

Cash machines because I’m scared they won’t give me my money or will give me the wrong amount. They scare me.

Moths.

Flab.

Muffin tops.

Wash leathers.

Westlife’s key changes.

Finding dead greenfly on myself or clothing in summer.

Robbie in his She’s Madonna get-up.

I have a fear of transvestites since watching the She’s Madonna video.

Finding family members toe nail clippings on the carpets or on the dinner table – I can’t stand it.

Spotting lost false nails on the pavements – they freak me out for some reason.

Men with long fingernails.

Pete Doherty’s grubby fingernails – aarghhh.

My dad’s stuffed animals – he’s always collected grotesque dead things and skulls. As a child he’d chase me round the house with one of his dead badgers and insist I stroked it. I hated it. & there were framed animals in the hallway at our house when I was a kid including a dead squirrel, a weasel and badger skin. They were well grose. They used to freak out my childhood friends too, but they didn’t have to live with them. No wonder I’m disturbed.

Men with hairy backs.

Hearing my mother talk about football.

Trousers with ironed in creases up the fronts.

Myself – sometimes I’m phobic of myself and just want to hack an axe into my skull, rip out my brain with my bare hands, and throw it out of the window as hard and as high as I can in a bid to escape my own body.

My mum when she wears my shoes, especially when she wears them without socks.

House-calling God botherers.

Halloweeners.

Unannounced visits to my house from anyone when I’m looking a mess in clothes not to be seen in public.

When my mum leaves the washing machine on when we go out – I think it’s either going to flood the house or catch fire.

My mum’s boyfriend’s feet.

My mother when she picks her nose, roots around inside her mouth to pull out a bit of food and she never washes her hands so I know that everything around our house is infected with saliva and snot. & she licks her fingers before turning pages in the TV magazine and it disturbs me loads. I shout at her to stop but she carries on. Everything is infected.

Butch looking lesbians.

Hearing my tummy gurgle when there’s people about.

Big Issue sellers.

People giving out leaflets or wanting you to take a moments and fill in questionnaires in town centres.

People with posh voices who look uptight.

Swearing, rough, drunk men.

Missing Robbie or Take That on TV or the radio.

Accidentally recording over a tape with Robbie or Take That on.

Bulls.

Loose dogs with brainless owners. I can see them coming, I can tell from a distance that the owners look stupid and know full well that their out of control mutt/s are going to jump up on me, get my clothes dirty and cover me with slobber. Where I live there’s plenty of brainless muppet owners.

The sun – I get sunburnt real easily and just fry and I get blisters on my hands.

The cold – my hands go all hot and cold and absolutely kill like hell.

Vampires.

Accidentally standing on snails.

Frog killing cars.

Walking down the road and counting how many frogs were killed the night before.

Seeing any little animal in the road or witnessing a bird fly dangerously close in front of a car.

Wasps flying around near me.

Things I say being taken out of context.

Social settings.

Popular young people – I always feel inadequate around them.

Being cuddled.

Getting pecks on the cheek.

Ugly people.

Wondering if I smell.

Steep hills which look like they could potentially have a landslide.

People fingering my food.

Speaking on the phone.

Walking into a room of people dressed up - work functions are a nightmare. They all stare and check me out.

My mother when she’s angry – sometimes I have to literally run for cover.

Being in a car with someone who drives too fast.

Bodily contact with slugs (rare). I love snails but I don’t like it when a slug sucks onto you like a leach and you can’t get it off without the use of a mother.

Public toilet door handles.

Grimy toothbrushes.

Eye contact with people.

Meeting people who know me from my past but I can’t for the life of me remember who they are. Uncomfortable.

Worrying that my over-sized skirts might fall down.

Sex scenes on TV.

When my mum and her boyfriend kiss – well grose.

Weighing scales when I know I’m looking fat.

Calories.

Watching the stogy food my mum puts on her plate and the quantities she eats. HUGE. & catching her sneaking into the kitchen at 9pm to get even more unhealthy food.

Breathing in fumes from faulty exhausts.

Spotting my spelling mistakes in old posts on forums and then editting them and thinking that maybe other people will think I’m being sly trying to edit something out or change what I was saying.

Running out of room whilst writing my diary.

People who say the good old line… “You have a serious attitude problem”. I’m phobic of it now.

Getting bleach on my clothes.

Pete Burns – visually frightening.

Preston form The Ordinary Boys – annoying face, annoying personality.

Usher – so full of himself.

Sharon Osbourne – I can’t stand the woman, she’s a bully.

Windy storms. I’m scared of high winds and structural damage.

Instruction books because they have too many words and I don’t understand them.

Walking towards the bridge over the canal and wondering if a canal boat is about to close it before I get there. (It happens a lot in summer).

Traffic lights – wondering if they’re going to go red before you reach them.

Bobbly paving at pedestrian crossings for blind people – I don’t like walking on them because the bobbles hurt my feet depending on which shoes I’m wearing.

Discarded fishing hooks or line in the canal because it will hurt an animal.

Cigarette smoke. I’m one of those who flaps their hands maniacally, coughs and complains.

Falling bird **** and walking under lamp posts with pigeons sat on top.

Tall people.

Rowdy groups of teenagers lurking the streets.

Knickerless celebs.

Babies – they’re OK to look at in prams but when holding them I don’t know what to do with them. & they’re not entertaining for long, they’re just heavy and dribble a lot. I’d prefer a puppy.

Willies.

Weirdo men asking for sex or if I want to go out for a walk with them.

Weirdo men asking me if I want a lift. They’re all between 45-55, with a big smile. I never get offered lifts by women or young men, just the 45-55 age bracket and often, one every 3 months approx. Not all of them can be innocent. Freaky.

Waking up in a morning and realising that I’m going to have to spend the whole day with myself.

My office workmate when she’s drunk and violent. Her abusive swearing outbursts scare the hell out of me and the banging of kicking her desk and throwing objects around the room make me even more frightened.

People wearing sunglasses with dark lenses when you can’t see their eyes and what they’re looking at.

People with a personality lack.

Marshy land – it’s hazardist when out walking in the country and you can’t tell how deep a wet patch is until you step in it. You either sink to above the ankle or it’s OK. It’s all a gamble. Frightening.

Tacky garden ornaments.

Mood swings – my own or other peoples. I don’t like tension in the air.

Tin openers – because I know that I’m only going to get half way round the tin and it will pop out and I won’t be able to get the rest to open and then I have to find a grown-up to finish the job for me.

#2 21-08-09, 01:22 PM

Squeaky shoes.

Being next to a group of pigeons when they set off to fly and there’s all that flapping and they nearly hit you.

Doctors.

Psychiatrists.

Giving away too much inappropriate information.

Bird flu.

That birds will fly into windows and hurt their faces.

Childbirth.

Men with big grey beards.

Ronald McDonald.

Scary celebrity behaviour like Joss Stone at the Brit Awards.

Mirrors.

Finding someone else’s’ pubes in the bath.

Seeing left over stubble in the sink after my mum’s boyfriend has had a shave and hasn’t cleaned up.

The Rob Is God Squad.

Getting lost.

When you go to the loo and realise that you put your thongs on the wrong way and you’ve got a leg where your waist should actually be.

Receiving smear test reminders.

Cobbles when I’m wearing heels.

The thought that I’ve set the timer to record wrong on my stereo system when TT/Rob are on whilst I’m at work and worrying about it all day.

Accidentally sending a PM to the wrong person by mistake which I have done before.

Wondering if I flushed the loo or not. I always do but sometimes I can’t remember if I did or not. The same goes for locking the front door, sometimes I have to go back and check because I’m paranoid.

That it will rain when I’ve gone out in clothes dressed for a dry day.

Going out leaving the greenhouse windows or door open and then realising that it’s very windy and getting worse and worrying about if the roof will come off.

Putting my hand in a tin of chocolates and choosing one and worrying that I’ve picked a coconut one. Ditto for tins of mixed biscuits, I try to avoid co****ty biscuits. I don’t like them.

Shoelaces untieing whilst walking along side a main road because if I have to bend down to re-tie them, all the passing cars will look at my arse.

Letter boxes – because once you’ve put a letter through the hole, that’s it, you can’t take it back even if you want to.

Putting a bag down, gloves down or something whilst out and leaving them behind by accident.

That Robbie will one day come out.

That in summer the flies will be out on one of my regular walks. Some days I get totally attacked and they’re very annoying.

That my crabsticks will give me food poisoning. I can never tell when they’re off and I’m ill with the sh*ts at least twice a year as a result.

Buying new shoes and not knowing if they’ll rub or not. I won’t know if they will until I’ve walked the 10 miles to work in them and by that time I’m crippled.

That my slagging off of people behind their backs will one day catch up with me.

Sponsor forms – I’m tight-fisted and shudder at the thought of parting with money even if it is for charity.

My mum when she sings – cringeworthy. Well actually more than cringeworthy, I scream, pull faces, put me hands over my ears and beg her to stop.

Technology.

Long words I don’t understand.

Flying missile bottles at music festivals.

Arse pinching perverts.

Pakistani men who want to give me a lift to the moors for a sh*g or who ask for a blowjob around the side of the market. Yuck.

Crimewatch – that’s scary.

Low flying planes and wondering if they’re gonna hit me.

The homeless – because I fell uncomfortable.

Over-tattooed women.

Over-pierced men or women.

Seeing my mother naked – truly terrifying. I see her most mornings when she goes to the bathroom and stops to talk to me. I scream and beg her to go away.

Schoolboys who bend down and jump along the floor like frogs saying “gribbet” because they know about my ‘Friends Of The Frogs’ group.

All animal traps – they’re evil. Any poisons and slug pellets.

Fox hunters, people shooting pheasants, grouse and little bunnies, and mole killers.

Fishermen because the hooks hurt little fishies mouths and they don’t like being out of the water.

Pavement sweepers that kill snails. I often pick snails up when they’re in danger from feet or cars and put them in gardens but I leave ones at the side of pavements if I think they’re safe but some days the pavement sweeper machine comes along after…. towards the snails I’ve left and I know they’re going to die an awful death I feel terrible to the point that I could cry. I hate pavement sweepers.

Discarded chewing gum with teeth imprints.

Automatic doors when they try and crush you.

Hiccups in public.

Lifts in case I get stuck.

Video cameras.

Spiders running across my patterned living room carpet when I’m lying down on it. They meld in and are almost invisible and our house spiders are between an inch and a half big, to big enough to not be able to put a glass over them. We have whoppers in our areas. Not that I dislike them, I think they’re great, I just don’t want to put a foot on one, especially a bare foot which I have done in the past. I put my full weight on one once, it lost a leg but amazingly lived and ran away down the garden path when I let it out. They’re super-hard.

Mullets.

Dead floating flies in drinks.

Dead little flies hiding in lettuce.

Scary paintings and those with people that look like they’re eyeballing you from every angle.

Fireworks when they’re being set off nearby and I think they’re gonna hit my bedroom window or house.

Walking in farmers’ fields and coming across old, manky lambs’ tails.

Cracks in ceilings or walls because I’m scared of land movement.

Being scared that if I hug my favourite cuddly toy too much that his velour nose will wear off.

Rudebox.

That Robbie will make another album like Rudebox and will do his rapping thing again.

Brambles at head height coming from peoples’ gardens when I’m out running in the dark. You can’t see them until they’re wrapped around your head.

Birds nests in high trees because I worry that they’ll fall out in high winds.

The underside of ladybirds – they’re not right pretty.

Medication.

Boring people.

The thought of Robbie having a sex change.

Being burgled.

That someone at work will one day spot me mucking around when I should be working.

I have a fear of how weight is distributed in a room. I think I can’t put my TV on my bookcase because that makes that part of the room too heavy and it may come through the ceiling, so I spread heavy items out. I’ve always had that phobia and so does my brother. It’s because our dad used to point out all the cracks in the ceilings to us as children and blame us for jumping on our beds and tell us that it’s going to cave in on us.

My mum’s fashion disasters. Sometimes she wears some hideous clothing or items hideously put together which don’t look right at all.

Old women with hairy moles.

My mum’s boyfriend’s clumsiness. He bangs and breaks everything, he’s a walking disaster. & he almost burnt the house down by boiling an egg and forgetting he’d put it on the stove.

Woodlice or caterpillars inside apples grown in our garden. They hide and pop out from the core as you’re eating them. & wasps in plums or on plums. The plums in our garden get attacked big time by wasps so when you’re collecting them you’ve got to be careful not to pick one and get stung by a hiding wasp.

Loud popping balloons.

I hate dirty bare feet. & I hate other peoples bare feet treading on my bedroom carpet.

Dark artwork on albums. I don’t like Intensive Care’s artwork, Rudebox’s or Take That’s Nobody Else. I hope Robbie’s next album has a soft yellow or pink artwork just so that it doesn’t effect me mentally.

Highly patterned wallpapers where you can see faces in it if you look closely. From being 0 – 12 my bedroom wallpaper had a flowery sort of pattern and in it I could see loads of evil faces looking at me. I used to lie in bed and be scared of the walls.

I hate it when I flick onto a channel and there’s some gory surgical procedure going on whether it be on human or at a vets. All that blood and cutting freaks me out.

When birds congregate in mass on roofs or telephone lines. I find it a bit freaky.

Smurfs.

Being watched.

Sometimes when I have the telly on and someone looks the camera right down the lens my natural response is to look away because I’m really shy and avoid eye contact. I’m soddin’ well scared of the TV now.

Cinema – because it’s dark, enclosed, and there’s lots of people which scares me.

The Loch Ness Monster.

Daleks.

The Grim Reaper.

The Tooth Fairy - she's snuck into my bedroom several times in the past when I’ve been a sleep and had the nerve to steal some of my teeth. Trust no one – not even fairies.

Lifts – you never know if they’re going to break down when you’re in them.

TV cookery shows when they throw in snails into boiling water. Aaarghhhh! Or when they do that with lobsters. Poor things.

Scantily clad old men on beaches with grey chest hair.

Grubby trains or buses. It's grose when you put your hand on a hand post and there's some substance that you don't know what it is or if there's dirty seats but you've no choice to plonk your arse down.

#3 21-08-09, 01:22 PM

Freddie Crougar.

Automated voices when you phone up banks.

Being forgetful.

Jokes that I don’t understand or just when I don’t understand what everyone is talking about.

Having random dreams about people I hardly know from the internet.

Cows in fields where there’s public footpaths. They scare me lots when I have to walk past them, sometimes I get all stressed out to the point of a nervous breakdown and screaming for my Mummy (even when she’s sat at home).

Opening a box of eggs and finding some with sh*t on. Uwe. & worse when you pick out the ones which you think are OK but underneath they’re sh*tty and you put your fingers on it.

Walking over grates. I always worry about my jewelry falling off and dropping down or something falling out of my pockets.

PMs from moderators. A chill runs down my spine as soon as I see I’ve got a PM from them. I get all nervous when opening them because I know I’m going to be getting narked at yet again.

Reading certain Robbie fans’ posts when I can see that they’ve just quoted something I’ve said and I know they’re going to be laying into me.

A tree falling into my rabbit pen. There’s a huge big tree in nextdoor’s garden and when it’s windy I get scared it’s going to come down and head for my rabbit. Eek! Not only that it could squash him, but because the heavy tree would damage the pen and little Henry could escape and then he’d not be safe and he might get eaten like Bunny did or that I’d have to run around the neighbourhood trying to get near him to catch him and he might not want to be caught or worse if I just can’t find him and never see him again and never know what happened to him.

The door to my rabbit pen not being fastened correctly and it opening when I’m not there, thus letting Henry escape.

Worrying about if mail will get delivered or if it’ll get lost.

I fear thinking I know someone and thinking they’re my friend but then it coming to light that they’re not and then they become all mean to me. Trust no one.

Dripping taps.

Walking from carriage to carriage in trains.

I worry that baddie nasty meanie people on forums will find out who I am in real life and give me hassle in real life.

That someone will use my toothbrush by accident.

I worry that a car will mount the pavement one day and hit me.

My mum sneezing when preparing my meals. She does it all the time and when I catch her and tell her to wash her hands she refuses and carries on fiddling with my food. I hate germs.

Putting pound coins into shopping trolleys and worrying about if it will give you it back later or if it will fly out quickly and fall down a surface water drain or under somewhere I can’t reach.

Knowing my mum walks around on the kitchen counter barefoot to water the plants, and then prepares food without wiping them down, yuck.

I’m paranoid about leaving pee on toilet seats or forgetting to flush the loo and I check like I’ve got a compulsive disorder, I check and often double check, I often forget if I’ve already checked and have got to return to the place to check that I’d checked. I hate it when people leave the toilet in a state, it’s grose.

Receiving phone calls from my dad. Every time it rings I hope it’s not for me.

Becoming as boring as my dad.

Becoming as repetitive as my dad.

Becoming as repetitive as my dad.

That my boss will quiz me about what I’ve actually been doing all day. There’s only so many excuses I can use before he twigs.

The fact that I could easily list a 100 more of my phobias - that’s scary. Life is so traumatic for someone as fragile as myself. There’s so many things to be scared of. Yikes.