Positon:

Midfield

Shirt #:

0

Goals:

1,000

Nickname:

Meatstick

Catchphrase:

"Get on my level!"

Having played football since the age of four, Jonathan Greene (aka ‘Meatstick' - don't ask why!) is no stranger to hitting the back of the net. He scored a hat trick in his first season playing for Pennsylvania's Villanova University (where he spent the next four years) and estimates he's knocked in over 1,000 goals during his lifetime. Hooking up with LA Vale via some mutual friends on the team, here's hoping he can maintain that immaculate scoring record...

What postion do you play?

Defender or forward

Height?

6'0"

What song should be LA Vale's anthem?

Tupac - Ambitionz as a Ridah

Who's your favourite footballer?

Pele

Which team did you support as a child?

DC United and Arsenal

Football or sex (if you had to give one up)?

Football; I'd keep having sex and have a future soccer hall of fame son, and still keep having sex

If you could play for any team what team would it be?

Baltimore Ravens

Favourite TV show?

Prison Break

Favourite film?

Friday

Favourite band?

Tupac

Jake Gyllenhal or Heath Ledger?

Jake

How much do you bench?

315

Finish this sentence: If I met Liza Minelli I would...

Act like I knew who she is

You have to get rid of either of one... dog or cats?

Cats

Which person from history (historical or literary) would you choose tojoin your family and why?

Michael Jordan; why not?

Biggest fear?

Failure

What's your real job?

IT consultant

Your best feature?

It's a tie between my looks and my chest

Is God angry?

Yes

James Bond or Rocky?

Bond

What's the king of nuts?

Deez nuts

Can you hear the voices?

Nope

Letterman or Jay Leno?

Letterman

Tits or ass?

Ass

Is it luck or fate?

Fate

Are you happy?

Yeah

What's your porn name?

Swiss Miss

If you were in a successful boy band how many years would you wait before you went solo?

Two

One thing I couldn't live without out...

Family/friends

Animal Planet or Planet Earth?

Animal Planet

How much for your soul (in bat)?

Not for sale

Have you ever referred to anyone as "the wind beneath your wings"?

No

I'd rather be...

King

Do you have a nickname for your penis?... Come on, don't be shy (terminator).

The Greene Mile

Most embarrassing moment?

Getting caught whacking it by my roommate freshman year of college

Favourite word?

Rss

Most underrated candy bar?

Caramello

Ice cream: chocolate or vanilla?

Vanilla

Wish you were better at..?

Golf

Pepsi vs Coke?

Coke

Young Pacino or old Pacino?

Young Pacino

Starbucks vs Coffee Bean?

Neither, but I'll go with Starbucks