fakebaked rite oot ma nut

what a crap wkend again ,had to pull ma mates son off him when he attacked his dad last nite then woke up at 5 am in a icebox of a coservatry ,thought id died n was in a mortuary....not kiddin ,then found i was locked in ,got out bACk door n had to jump a 8FT FENCE BOLTED 3 TIME ,WOULDA BEEN EASIER GETTIN OUT ALCATRAZ,ANYWAY JUST NEARLY KILLED MYSELF WASHING A DISH THAT BROKE IN MY HANDS N TOOK HUGE CHUNK OUT MY WRIST ,MISSIN MY BIG VAIN BY A PINHEAD,STILL BLEEDING,WOT A FRIGHT,IT WONT STOP BLEEDING,AH THINK AM CURSED THESE DAYS ,BLOODY NEVER A DULL MOMENT ,AH BEEN A AGONY AUNT ,NURSEMAID,CLEANER COOK,BOUNCER,BOXER,HOSTESS,COMEDIAN,ENTERTAINER,MUM,DAUGHTER,BEUTICIAN,PAL N NEARLY A DEAD BODY ,N A GOT A ROW 4 BEING .....A TAD TOUCHY TODAY ??....AVE HAD BLOODY 4 HOUR SLEEP IN 4 DAYS WITH 1 THING N OTHER SO I THINK A TAD TOUCHY IS VERY VERY SELF CONTROLLED ,COS TO BE HONEST I FEEL LIKE IF ANYBODY ANNOYS ME AH COULD CHUCK A TARTAN FIT N WOULD HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO ??BUT HEY AM NOT PERFECT ,BUT FEEL AM GETTIN SO DAM NEAR IT SCARES ME HE HE ,,,WELL ????AH WANT SUM FUN NO TO BE LITTLE MISS FIXIT ?AH WANT TO GO BANNANAS N LET EM ALL BOLT N GIVE ME SUM TIME OUT 4 WKENDS ON TROT,1 DRAMA AFTER ANOTHER DILLEMA ,TRAUMA ,DISASTER OR RIOT ,BUT DO NOT FEAR MISS FIXIT IS HERE ,THE AMASING BLUNDERWOMAN ?? XXXXXX MA BEST BUD KEZ BIRTHDAY SOON SO FEEL A WILD NITE OUT ON THE CARDS ? WELL WOTS UP WA THAT ? AM ALWAYS ON MY BEST BEHAVIOUR ?(",)IN THE IMPORTANT WAYS ANYWAY